I know I have control issues (I’ll admit it!) all these changes have been quite unsettling. I’ve bitten off all my nails. I’ve already re-organised my mums cupboards and the pantry, just to regain the comfort of neat little rows of glasses, jars, cans and spices… and now I can breathe again. Ridiculous - I know!
Being a mother, and because I work from home, the house has always been my domain. I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing and child care, as so many women do. My partner Richard, does the “man-stuff” – mows lawns, puts out the bins, gets things down from high cupboards, and opens tight jars.
What "REALLY" freaked me out, is that all of a sudden, Richard, has started helping out by doing the washing!!! He never used to do washing - has the world gone mad all of a sudden? I was feeling very anxious about it, so I had to put on my “Practitioner hat”, and ask, why does this bother me? Do I really love washing that much? or do I just love the feeling it gives me - control.
This got me thinking about what we create in our life - habits and behaviours that serve our needs. Over the past 10 years, since I had my kids, my circumstances have changed. I have my own business, and my girls are growing up, but I’m still in the same routine, as when they were babies and I was a full-time carer. I’ve let that role of “super mum & wife” take over, because it has served me - It gave me control. I’ve attached my self worth to it, because I like to be needed. So when Richard was doing the washing, I felt my value diminish. Wanting to be needed isn’t so terrible, but the reality is, that it actually doesn’t serve me, when I want more from life, than clean linen, and a tidy house.
Today Richard is dropping the kids off at their new school on his way to work, something I normally would have done. Not being there for them is a bit sad, but it’s also a gift. It allows me to let go, it lets them grow up and be more independent, and it gives me what I really want… time to focus on my business. Time to expand my knowledge, and my vision for the future, not only for my business, but for my family too.
We are creatures of habit, and with awareness we get to change those habits. Yes it feels yucky, and a little “out of control”, but how can you have what you “really” want for the future, if you’re stuck with the habits of the past?
If you need help changing some old habits, send me a message to organise a free consultation.
Sending you health and happiness.
Vikki : )