So why do we (women/mothers) do that??? Tend to others, at a time when we are the ones that need to be tended to??? Neglecting our own needs - it’s just crazy!
Inevitably we are setting ourselves up for failure… we give everything of ourselves until we are depleted, stressed out, exhausted. Then in a bizarre cycle of self sabotage we wallow in the feelings that we’re unsupported by those that are supposed to love us the most. This is my fu#ked up behaviour pattern, and yet I think it is so very common amongst women.
Putting on my practitioner hat, what I'm doing is mirroring my own expectations to others, and in true form, my family will give me exactly what I ask for. I asked for nothing, I mirrored that I was ok (even if I was faking it!), and in return there was no cup of tea, no breakfast in bed, not even a simple “how are you feeling today mum?”. I’m not annoyed, because this is what I created, this was the expectation I set for them.
I know all this, and yet I still did it. Maybe out of guilt, that hubby went off to work at 7.30am - and he’s sick too. Maybe I feel valued, as the caregiver. Maybe I feel obliged that it’s my responsibility as a mother. Maybe I don’t want to show my weakness. Maybe my head is in such a fog, that I’m completely delusional.
Our behaviours are subconscious. It’s only when you are aware of them that you bring them into the consciousness, and here you may change the behaviour.
Today I’m sick. I need rest. I’m going to “ask” for support, and set the expectation that my girls "can" look after their mum.
Take care of you mind, body & soul.